2nd Meeting January 16, 2010

There were things that happened that weekend in November 2009 that will not be shared here in a public forum. Suffice it to say they were things I was sure that we would never be able to overcome but I wanted the weekend of memories regardless and I needed to be able to say “This man owned me… He considered me worthy enough to collar.” None of these things had to do with our relationship directly but those influences surrounding us. And that is what real life is all about.

Christmas and the New Year came and went. It was January 16, 2010 before we would see each other again. And this time it was in Texas, in a cabin tucked back into The Texas Hill Country around Lake Travis.

I had asked him at one point to not come… but his flight reservations were made and so to was his determination to reinforce his dominance and ownership of me.

I relented (an illusionary choice at best within a Master slave relationship) and decided I would make it an incredible final weekend. My decision was made. I would beg release at the end. Face to face, kneeling before him as I had when I took his collar.

As I look back on those thoughts now I realize how very correct my Master was when he mentioned to me at one point that circumstances had transpired in my recent and distant life that were coloring my perception of us. Not allowing me then, to see things clearly through that filter I had constructed for myself.

He knew of course that I was despondent that there were issues that were deeply troubling to me. I think He also knew what my intention was. He knows me extremely well. It had nothing to do with me not wanting to continue my submission to him or not loving him and longing so much to devote myself entirely. And I *knew* He loved me too. We both wanted, craved that 24/7 M/s lifestyle. But love does not conquer all… cannot conquer all. Life can be oh so complicated.

Other things were also very much on my mind… like the binding spell. I had never ever tried to go against my own spell.

And so I arrived early to the cabin to get everything prepared. All those little details… God I love the details! Those are the things that make memories spectacular.

Then off to the airport I went to await his arrival. A smile on my face and my heart bleeding in my hands………….