What Qualities Or Character Traits Does A Master Need To Have In Order To Gain My Consent To Serve?

October 24, 2009

24 Days Until I meet My Master

What qualities or character traits does a Master need to have in order to gain my consent to serve? Why do I feel they are important?

This may be the most important aspect of the whole M/s relationship. These are the things a slave should research *before* that collar is locked around her neck. And they are different depending on the slave.

*Compassionate Sadist - I enjoy pain with a Master who is a controlled compassionate sadist. I get true pleasure from it, a physical rush of adrenaline to ecstasy. It also allows me a release of my inner pain. If he is not a sadist to my masochist side I will not be able to feel my slavery fully within his ownership of me.

*Limits should be comparable – I think it’s important that we have the similar kinks or it is not going to be very fulfilling for either of us. I want my Master to enjoy my service and I want to enjoy it also. If he were to be say… into medical play and I vomited at the sight of needles...that is something I should have found out before hand.

*24/7 slave with sex being a component of the domination – My slavery is not going to be complete without a 24/7 life of it. So a Master that wishes a slave on a part time basis is not going to feed my craving for total control. And sex is an important part of that equation. Giving up control of even my sex to be used for his pleasure.

*Self Control – If he can’t control himself then how can he control me?

*A Sense of Humor - Essential in a lifestyle that often ends up in hysterically funny positions, or situations. When I beg to be released from his full rope bondage that he just spent two hours at perfecting each and every knot and braiding the crotch ropes, and suddenly I need to use the little submissive’s room, does he laugh and say, “Sure, no problem. I built in a quick release.” and then patiently re-tie every knot when I come crawling back for more? Or, does he yell, “I told you to go pee before we started! I am not releasing you! This rope work is art!” Well, that surely doesn’t sound very much like he has a sense of humor to me, much less the fact he just flunked Self-Control 101, not to mention about 15 other standards in my head.

*Capacity to Love, Be Loved and to Express that Love. - Easy to discern. Do his eyes smile at me with those cute little crinkles in the corners? Can he clean up after I vomit for two days with the flu? Can he let me clean up after him when he’s been vomiting for two days from the flu? When I say, “I love you, Master”, does he softly caress my hair and I know he means it when he says, “I love you too, my girl.” Or does he huff and puff and suddenly decide he might miss an appointment if he doesn’t leave right now. Doesn’t sound like he even knows what love is.

*Desire to Learn and Grow, for both of us. - I would rather not have a Master who thinks he already has all the answers, before the two of us have even begun to figure out the questions? If I have this burning (no pun intended) desire to experience fire play, I would want to know that he would seek expert training before lighting me on fire. Part of his ‘job’ and mine, is to keep me safe from harm. If he can’t admit that he doesn’t know everything about everything, and harms me trying to show his ‘skills’, well, that doesn’t sound so great to me.

*Poly relationships – I think “working” poly relationships can be extremely rewarding for all involved and I love the dynamics of having other slaves that are committed to the same goal as I am. My Master’s happiness. While it may not always be part of our relationship it is an important for me to know that if that next slave were to present herself or himself, that my Master has that expectation that he would enjoy those kinds of relationships as well.

I think in closing I would just like to add that thinking and questioning your own “requirements” for a Master is critically important. If you are looking for a Master slave or Dominant submissive relationship there are things you must find out first if there is any hope of it lasting beyond the next scene. Do the work needed and then submit fully knowing that you as the slave/sub have done everything you could to ensure the success of the relationship before it even begins.