What Are My Greatest Weaknesses As A Slave? What Am I Doing To Help Improve That?

October 18, 2009
30 Days Until I Meet My Master

I would have to say my greatest weaknesses are my self doubt, lack of confidence, my need for reassurance, my difficulty in trusting and my anxiety. Not that their manifestation was not justified but that does not make them acceptable now.

What can I do to improve that? How do I stop the voices in my head that say I am not good enough? Why are the bad things so much easier to believe?

So what are some things that will increase my self esteem and confidence? *Teach* something, regardless of what that might be. I love teaching or mentoring others. It’s a sharing of self and what is important to me, and so my passion for the topic tends to brush away my fears. I *always* feel stronger more sure of myself. It’s in the sharing with others that we learn how much we really know and it’s always a delightful surprise and confirmation to me of how far I have come. And when others do well and expand on their own thoughts with the seeds I have sown, I also blossom.

Writing, writing and more writing. Another powerful passion of mine that imparts back to me the feeling of having created something that speaks my heart to others. It’s a huge release of the emotions I often feel lay trapped within me.

When I do have time on my own I need to do nurturing things. Things that feel good, within the parameters of my Master’s rules of course. What I mean is little things like taking a walk or a drive. Curling up with a good book. Perhaps a long candlelit bath with an exceptional wine in hand and some soothing music. Sew, garden, do some casual shopping, go to a salon for some pampering. Visit a museum or someplace where I can see and or touch animals, rock and hold babies.

All of these things and more refresh my spirit and make me a better woman and slave when I am once again within his presence.

None of these things change those seemingly bottomless fears overnight. It’s a process like anything else. And I must not allow myself to be continuously in the presence or earshot of those that would try to quash my tender growing confidence.

If my Master is pleased with me that is all that I require. He is that fresh breeze that blows through to my core. He has awakened a part of me that I thought long dead. He *will* have the best slave I can be.