Three Things That I need To Be Emotionally Fulfilled By My Service To My Master

October 15, 2009

33 days until I meet my Master

It’s very hard for me as sub to think about my own personal needs much less talk about them and discuss them. That being said it is a good discussion point and important in that a slave that feels emotionally content and secure will never withdraw her consent even if that is just in an emotional way and not in a physical way.

I am fighting a little with the word “need” which sounds so very demanding to me. And yet in every type of relationship we as human beings have, we have needs in regards to those. This 24/7, D/s, M/s, relationship has the very specific needs of the Dominant spelled out for me. I like it that way. I do not want to have to guess what he expects or wants. But what do *I* need?

To make this relationship work and last … what do I need from him?

1.) I need to feel protected.

I have a past that has left me with issues of fearing emotional and physical bodily harm. It is my self protection that presents itself in various forms a few of those being:

Checking to make sure my door is locked 10 times before I can sleep. Sleeping on the side of the bed farthest from the bedroom door and with my body facing the door.

Most people have this illusion of personal safety like a bubble around them. Mine was taken long ago.

I also have an amazing ability to “appear” emotionally distant and cold. Leaving a relationship before someone can leave me. Never, never ever needing anyone.

But I do need my Master. And I feel his protection in many ways. I like that he knows where I am or can find out where I am simply by phoning ((my cell phone has GPS enabled)). Some might see this as a non trusting type issue …I see it as him being able to find me if something horrible happens and I need him.

When I awaken from a nightmare and he holds me…soothes me, this is also a form of protection.

When he states in word and deed that he will never allow anyone to hurt me.

2.) I need to know he “hears” me. And I mean this in a specific way. He listens, not just about any concerns I might have regarding a scene we have done or situation that has come up or a question I have but the lighthearted silly things as well ...the quiet sharing bonding things.

And even when the conversation is difficult for me and the answer to it even more so…ultimately it’s not about the question or his decision regarding it that will have the most lasting effect. It’s the fact that he took the time to hear me. That he acknowledged it, that it had value, even if it that value was just bringing a smile to his face or having him laugh with me or hold me reassuringly.

3.) I need to feel cherished, accepted for all I am even the darker parts. Otherwise how can I share with him all of my heart and all of my deepening submission.


Without these three things I cannot trust and without trust there is no submission.