My Training Begins

I kind of wandered after that for awhile. Unsure as to whether to continue to try and develop that side of me that cried out in the stillness of the dark, when all my defenses were down. I tried very hard to keep it pushed down deep inside, involving myself in as many distractions as I could. But, it never died...never ceased. I grew despondent and heart heavy. And after a few months of trying to hold that door shut I opened it again telling myself...one more time...one more shot. I had to try.

I searched all over looking for a place that trained slaves/submissives. The choices were a dizzying array of Dominants, Schools and Organizations professing to be the best in developing that spirit of submission. In the end I chose a well established University with a long track record in the community. I visited a few times just to get an overall feel of the place the students and instructors. It had a definite slant toward the feminine lesbian side. Although not restricted to that. It felt safer to me, and somehow softer. Over the few months I was there I would come to realize how very hard Dommes (female dominants) could be. They did have a softer side yes, but it was also combined with strong hard characteristics.

There were two choices upon application and after acceptance. Either you paid for each session/lecture or you submitted to the University. Agreeing to be collared and sold by them after training. While this sounds harsh let me explain. No sale was ever against the slave’s wishes. There was a process involved of informal meetings and getting to know one another under the watchful eyes always of the instructors. The sale of a slave was *always* by consent.

The term slave can bring up thoughts not related to BDSM or the D/s relationship at all. I am not at all referring to the darker aspects of illegal slavery. Where people are forced against their will to do anything and everything with real aspects of torture and death.

What I *am* referring to is a lifestyle of loving another person that surpasses what society might classify as normal. It is a relationship in which the balance of power is unequal. It is about the mind, about psychological control and internal (mental) enslavement.

D/s is not about the hardware, it's not about pain, and it’s not about bondage. D/s is about an exchange of power.

A slave’s submission is not beaten nor coerced out of them; they give it willingly to their Master/Mistress; they understand and treasure this gift of self and trust, and will use it for the betterment and happiness of both of them.

As long as neither partner irreparably violates the other's trust, they exist in a harmonious balance of complete surrender and complete control. For most people in such relationships, the best words to describe themselves are Master/Mistress and slave.

And so I began my formal training, having accepted the choice of taking the school’s collar and the relative safety of knowing that they would help me make that all important decision at the end in the choice of a Master.