The Dance

And so we danced. That oh so delicate dance of Master and slave. The steps were new to me but he led and I fluidly anticipated his moves, his hand firmly around my waist guiding me in the direction he wished. I remained breathless beneath his domination, intoxicated by his control of me.

There were times he would twirl me under his arm, safe and protected and others where he would swing me out away from him letting the leash dangle. It was at those moments I was the most afraid. When I felt as if I was beyond his reach. It was in this way that he beckoned me over and over to mentally submit to him again and again.

My long history of nightmares refreshed themselves with a vengeance. Why? Perhaps because as my sense of vulnerability and submission increased so too did my fears.

Am I giving my Master the power to destroy me, emotionally? And do I trust him enough not to?

This reoccurring nightmare has been one of the worst over these last two years and the dark symbolism is not lost on me…..

My darkest dreams would sweep in with the ferocity of a summer storm. Winds twisting and turning, angry, while I stood in the doorway not sure if I should go out or stay. Outside the thunder crashed shaking the ground like the earth itself were threatening to crack down the center.

I screamed, cried and sunk down within the door frame with my knees up in my chest and my arms wrapped around them. “Master, I am so afraid, please come for me”.

His voice penetrated the roar of the wind and rain without effort. It was firm and strong, serious and full of compassion “Eirene, I am here, you need only reach out your hand to me so that I can grasp it.”

With tearful longing I looked at him standing there, but the deep crevasse in the earth between us looked deep, endless and not crossable. “Master I can’t, do you not see the dark gaping cavern that separates us? Please Master will you not come for me?”

His hand remained extended even as he shook his head no. “My slave, at some point you must relinquish your fear and trust me. I will *not* let you fall. The space you see between us… it’s an illusion, a leap of faith, and you must come to me I cannot come to you.”

I sobbed frozen in my fear and unable to move “I am lost then, never to escape the elements of my nightmare.”

Then I would awaken to the masculine smell of him pressed up against me his arms tight around me one hand in my hair as he nuzzled my neck. “Shhhh, my girl. You are safe, all is well. My collar remains secure around your neck. Let it always remind you that you are well protected and very owned” Possessively his hands would move over and down my body urging my legs apart as he slipped between them. His way of connecting us and comforting me.

And so in the dance he once again pulls me back under his arm firmly so that I have no doubts where I belong. And little by little I feel the walls crumble around my heart and I submit my will again.

This dance is a continuous and long one as my Master embraces all that I am. Not just all the good happy things but the dark things as well. Over the weeks and months to come I would continue and still continue to submit and turn over to my Master all aspects of myself. And he continues to accept me on every level. And as he does that my love and devotion to him grow.